SCHOOL OF THE SOLDIER
Army Manual: XXVII (1861)
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CONTENTS:
Assuming Line Of Battle
Advancing On The Enemy
Engagement
The Break And Run
The Followup
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United States War Department Official Publication
PRINTED AND DISTRIBUTED BY:
United States Printing Office
12 Bleek Street
Wa****ngton City, 1861
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Approved for the instruction of all units and formations
of the Army of the United States in the field.
November 10, 1861
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BY:
Brigadier-General Benjamin Franklin Butler U.S.V.
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November 8, 1861
The Honorable Simon Cameron
Secretary of War, Wa****ngton City
Sir: As witnessed by the late debacle at the engagement now
know as "Bull Run", it is clear that our armies lack adaquate
training in proper battlefield etiquette.
I therefore propose, Sir, that my many years of pu****ng little
tin soldiers around the grounds of my parent's home have
given me the insights required to undertake the task of setting
down the instructions required to prevent an embarrassement
of this nature from occuring again. There is no reason why
order cannot be brought to chaos and why panic should lack
discipline.
It is my pleasure and duty to present this manuscript to you,
for your consideration, and with my sincere hope that it will
be distributed to the field commands of the United States
Army for immediate implimentation.
Your Most Humble and Obedient Servent,
B. F. Butler, Brig-Gen
In Camp
(at the Willard Hotel, Wa****ngton City)
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November 9, 1861
After a careful, thorough, and in-depth study and review of
the manuscript received by this office yesterday, November
the 8th, in the year 1861, the President of these United States,
for reasons known only unto himself and Divine Providence,
and something mumbled under his breath about "owing him
a few favors", has authorized that this manual be immediately
published and distributed to our armies in the field.
BY ORDER OF:
Simon Cameron
Secretary of War
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SCHOOL OF THE SOLDIER
Army Manual: XXVII (1861)
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INTRODUCTION:
It has been observed in these early days of the rebellion
that contact with the enemy has left many troops uncertain
of how to handle the difficult task of properly panicking in
the face of shell, shot, and musket fire. It is the purpose of
this manual to lay down the rules to be followed by units in
the field when faced with this situation in the future so that
the unorganized and embarassing rout suffered by this army
before the eyes of the esteemed dignitaries and invited
guests who witnessed the late Virginia battle near Bull Run
is not repeated. This army can and shall master the art of the
disciplined trouncing.
ARTICLE THE FIRST -- ASSUMING LINE OF BATTLE
:
Units shall deploy in double line of battle, facing the enemy
if possible, and with weapons loaded and primed (and pointed
upward at a high "****t arms" so as to avoid accidental
discharges--of the firearms variety that is).
Individual soldiers shall stand with no more then one inch
separation between shoulders so as to present as solid and as
continuous a target as possible for enemy musket fire.
Officers and non-commissioned officers shall take up positions
as File Closers behind the double walls of hopefully solid flesh
and bone.
The ranking officer of the unit shall assume a position in the
rear of the rear of the formation, and shall walk the length of
the line, projecting in as loud a voice as possible inspirational
and morale bulding quips such as, "I hear tell them rebs can
shoot the eye out of a chicken at a thousand yards, but then
you boys ain't chick...uh...wait...never mind.", or "Don't worry,
boys, by the time what's left of us gets up there them
Johnnies should be almost out of ammo." .
ARTICLE THE SECOND -- ADVANCING ON THE ENEMY:
Ranks shall walk briskly while maintaining as straight a line as
boulders, shell craters, tree stumps, and fences shall allow.
File Closers shall use sword and bayonet to keep the ranks
advancing forward whenever they witness the tell-tale signs of
sanity and rational though, or hear such self-preserving oaths
as, "Holy Mother of Christ...this is NUTS!"
While advancing, individual soldiers shall refrain from such
things as reciting the Lord's Prayer out loud, shouting "Hey,
wait, I think I'm suppose to be with you guys" in the direction
of the enemy, or asking the File Closers over their shoulders if
it's too late to sign up for Sick Call.
ARTICLE THE THIRD -- ENGAGEMENT:
When units come within range of the enemy's guns they shall
continue to advance despite the enormous holes being torn
in the line by cannon fire and the countless bodies falling to
the bullet. This is the most critical phase of any battle where
the gentlemanly prosecution of war dictates that the enemy
should be given the fair chance to negate our numerical
superiority and even the odds. This phase shall be known as
"initial contact".
ARTICLE THE FOURTH -- THE BREAK AND RUN:
After initial contact with the enemy, the order may be given to
disengage. Anyone on the field may give this order (from private
to ranking officer) and such phrases as, "Oh crap! Lets get the hell
out of here!", or a simple, "SKADADDLE BOYS!", are recommended.
An order such as "Hell! I think I just soiled my pants." is regarded
as too indefinite and should be avoided, so as not to contribute to
the already mind-boggling confusion level among the troops.
Ranks should drop their weapons and turn in unison as an orderly
formation. Even numbered soldiers in rank should run at full
speed with their arms waving about in an insane manner while
odd numbered troops should rip off their gear and throw the items
up in the air as they run.
File Closer shall...well...File Closers are on their own at this point
and it is recommended that, after picking themselves up off the
ground and dusting the boot-prints off their tunics, they either give
the enemy a wide-eyed and slack-jawed expression of complete
dismay or a broad smile as they casually turn and high-tail it after
the rest, making certain that their bounding strides are in perfect
lock-step.
ARTICLE THE FIFTH -- THE FOLLOWUP:
Units executing the "Break And Run" maneuver shall avoid
knocking over and trampling reserve formations as they advance
to the rear.
Units shall maintain their straight lines and each individual soldier
shall keep the soldier on his left and right in sight at all times,
there is no reason for men to become lost or separated during a
"Break And Run". To make certain that units do not become too
dispersed, formations shall halt when the weakest man drops from
sheer and utter exhaustion.
When File Closers finally catch up to the rest of the formation,
individual soldiers will avoid su***bing to the passions of the
moment and will not yell at the officers and non-commissioned
officers such things as "You idiots!", "Have you lost what little
sense God gave you?", or "You just wait, because someday
somebody somewhere is gunna invent fragging".
Ranking officers shall not request a truce from the enemy in order
to collect the dead and wounded. This is the enlightened
Nineteenth Century so, in keeping with accepted military tradition,
no command shall admit defeat by requesting a truce in order to
care for the fallen.
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ADDENDUM:
November 22, 1861
It is a well founded principle of the march that a rousing song,
engaged in by all participating in the movement, can help to
keep a formation "in step". It is therefore recommended that
during the "Break And Run" maneuver the troops be encouraged
to sing out in a loud voice a stiring martial tune, in a cadence
appropriate for the speed of the movement involved. The
following tune is recommended.
SIGNED:
B. F. Butler, Brig-Gen Commanding
(Well, commanding nothing in particular at the moment. But
I' ve got connections, and a real itch to take on some of those
prim and proper New Orleans women.)
"BREAK AND RUN" TUNE:
As I went walking down the road 'twas on one summer's day,
What do you s'pose I chanced to see going the other way.
Well, I knew it weren't the navy nor the whole McDougle clan,
It was a company of cowards, I could tell by the way they ran.
CHORUS:
Oh get around, oh get around, get around,
Oh get around, get away.
'Tis a company of cowards,
And they've come to save the day.
Ah, you should have seen their uniforms, shabby as you please,
Mighty shy of buttons, rather baggy at the knees.
And such was their appearance we laughed until we cried,
'Tis a pity, Mr. Lincoln, they're not on the other side.
CHORUS
I don't recall I ever heard that bugle sound retreat,
I could only hear the thunder of a hundred scamperin' feet.
It was forward into battle they came marching one by one,
But I guess they thought it over and they thought it best to run.
CHORUS
All men who bear the saber share the scandal of that day,
Napolean would have died of shame to see them run away.
Remember George at Valley Forge made the British boys behave,
You can well image now he's rolling over in his grave.
CHORUS
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